Sleepless night


It scares me how quickly I can change my mind. It scares me how quickly I can change my mood. It scares me how a decision I make today could affect the rest of my life. I'm silly, childish, ditzy... an easily distracted flake.
One day I wake up feeling like I'm ready to knock the world right off its feet, while the next day, I'm about as ready to take care of myself as a scared 5 year old little girl.
I can't be trusted to affect other lives. I'm barely in control of my own! What do I do?
Go hide from civilization and decisions util I'm a little older, a little more stable?
Who am I, and what do I really want out of life?
Maybe I'm just crazy, but all these thoughts are flying through my head and I can't organize my mind. It's chaos in there! I didn't sleep at all last night, and now that the sun is up and shining (it's a beeaauuuutiful morning!) I still can't sleep. I feel dizzy but not tired. I feel alive but so weird.
I'm sorry I don't make any sense.
Sometimes I just feel like chaos :S

Change, say yes.


(art by http://oo-rein-oo.deviantart.com/)

Change is good :) I mean seriously, haven't you seen Yes Man? Say yes to new opportunities, saying yes brings rewards ;) hehe. No but in all seriousness, people who welcome change seem happier. I want to be like that, so from now on, I will embrace anything that comes my way. (within reason, ok! Don't come asking me for 20 grand now just 'cuz I'm making an effort to say yes to more XD hehe)

Why spend your life as a caterpillar when given the option to become a butterfly? Metaphorically speaking, of course. (Off topic note - butterflies look really freaky if you ignore their wings :P Scary even.) My point being - don't be afraid of what you aren't used to. So many people bury themselves in a rut of pointless, boring, "safe" lifestyles. But how old are you going to be when you realize that you want more than that?? If you hit 75 and decide that you wish you had taken up hitchhiking, your ship may have sailed. Start planning NOW. Write yourself a bucket list :) (List of things to do before you "kick the bucket" so to speak. It's from a movie - The Bucket List. If you haven't already seen it, I highly recommend it.)

Fear holds me back from so much. I know fear is a feature your brain kicks in to protect you, especially when I'm at the edge of a bridge wondering how it would feel to fly ;) hehe. But you have to create the line yourself, where is fear protecting you, and where is fear just holding you back?

Let go of whatever is holding you back from making a change.

"Better safe than sorry" is good advice, but where's your sense of Carpe Diem?


(art by http://littlemisslove.deviantart.com/)

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