defeating shame

Picture day is in about 5 weeks. By then, I plan to drop another 2 kgs (ca 4.5 lbs). Less than one pound per week? I can do that. 

Two years ago, I hit my all time high number of 75 kgs (165 lbs). I was so ashamed of myself, I never want to feel that kind of disgust again. After two years of all kinds of crap like power walking/vinegar drinking/yoyo-dieting/etc., I'm down to ca 57 kgs (125 lbs). If I drop two more kgs, that makes it a total loss of exactly 20 kgs (ca 45 lbs). Funny story - I was so proud of my accomplishment until I found out my new jeans size is considered XXL by an online fashion outlet I admire.  ^^ hmmm looks like I still have a looong way to go.

Weighing 55 won't make me thin, but atleast I'll be a step closer than I was before.

Alright, I'll end this entry with an excellent piece of art - Megan Fox looking not quite so foxy ^^
(Yes, I'm ridiculous and immature. Don't judge me.) hehe


Bead Art

My new favorite time-waster! xD


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:D I DID IT!!! A month ago, I made the vow to lose 2 kgs by August 1st. Not only have I dropped those two first stubborn kgs, but even better - a total of 5 kgs. How did I manage this?
- I drank ca 2 liters of water (with a few tablespoons of apple cider vinegar in each)
- I powerwalked for 40 - 60 min per day most days
- I tried a liquid diet for a week (lost 3 kgs but suffered the pissiest mood throughout)
- Started counting calories!

The liquid diet meant eating only soup three times a day for a week. On one hand, the pounds just sortof melted off, I could see results on the scale instantly. On the other hand, I felt like crap. I was hungry, tired, dizzy and overall miserable. Everything made me cry, and I could pick a fight out of just about anything anyone said to me. It was awful!

After that, I pigged out for a week. I ate everything I could get my hands on (oh the shame...). Working at the cafe didn't make that any easier, I got cheesy pasta or grilled sandwiches for lunch, and desserts like cheesecake and chocolate every day.

After that, I decided to get back on track. I searched the internet for weightloss success stories, I wanted to find what worked for people irl. For most people, what it came down to in the end was always this: Burn more calories than you consume. That simple. Turns out, an adult woman can live off 1200 calories in a day and still get all the nutrition the body needs (the key is just finding the most nutritional low calorie foods out there)! Any less than 1200 cals, and the body goes into starvation mode and saves every calorie that enters the body and KEEPS IT FOR EVER. But 1200 was a safe number, so I went with it :)

I bought a cute lil black notebook and labled it as my Diet Journal. I wrote down all my favorite healthy foods and how many calories were in each serving. Then every day, I wrote down everything I ate and drank and put the total calories for the day at the bottom of the page. I also doodled inspirational quotes and threw in a few pages of "Dear journal, today I feel blablabla because I ate blablabla" etc etc. This little book became my support buddy. hehe

Ok, as for future goals - I'm sticking to the 1200 cal diet for atleast another week. I'm happy about the weight I'm at now, as far as BMI points go, I've gone from 30 to 23. And while thats great, I'm not 100% satisfied. I have a few more pounds to lose before I'm done. Hopefully this plan will get me there :)

Much love to y'all!!

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